Journey of Love - Never Gives Up

Journey of Love – Never Gives Up

It was a surprise snow storm.  I lived in the mountains in Virginia and I had to get home from Roanoke.  Traffic on Interstate 81 stopped when I had almost reached the Dixie Caverns exit.  When I say stopped, I mean completely stopped.  In the left lane, I got out and asked the person in the pickup next to me if they could back up so I could get over to the exit.  He did and then followed me up the old highway, which was in bad shape but at least was not blocked. 

About halfway up Christiansburg Mountain, the wheels on my rear drive pickup began spinning.  The guy following me passed until his wheels started spinning too.  I kept moving forward so I did not let off the gas as I did not want stop and not be able to move again.  The other guy finally gave up and turned around.  He must not have realized he was only 100 yards from the top.  I persevered and made it over and got home.  I later found out that the freeway was stopped for five hours.

Often, relationships can feel like going up a mountain in the snow with rear wheel drive.  It can feel like we are making not progress, just spinning our wheels.  At times we may even feel out of control, like we are going to slide off the road and get hurt.  I am here to tell you that love does not give up.  It will not give up on that marriage that is founded in Him.  It will not give up on the friendship that is true.  It will not give up on family.

I should make it clear that I am not advising people to stay in physically abusive situations.  I am saying that healing is possible if both people in a relationship are willing to seek it.  People are far too willing to give up on marriages instead of trying to work things out.  Be willing to take the effort and fight for it. 

I will confess that I probably should have fought harder for my marriage when my ex-wife sought a divorce.  In hindsight, I should have fought harder for my marriage years before it ended.  Contend for your marriage now.  Don’t wait for it to get out of control!  Seek that love that never gives up.

For you singles (and all of us), you should know that love does not give up on friendship and family either.  If your friend offends you, let them know in love.  Unless your friend is leading you away from God, seek to repair that relationship.  Stay in touch with your family.  Don’t give up on them because they are different from you but continue to show them the Love of God as a family. 

Finally, know that the Love of God never gives up on you.  God is always willing to love you no matter what you have done or said.  You need only turn to Him and He will be right there!  If you do not understand this, talk to me.  Never give up on that relationship with Him.  He will never give up on you! 

Journey of Love - The Truth

Journey of Love – Rejoices in the Truth

Her boyfriend worked for a used car dealership in Salem, VA.  She had her eye on the little red sports car so he bent the rules and let her take it out for a drive.  She took it to the winding country roads just north of town.  When I first saw her, she was coming around a corner much too quickly and began to slide.  In a panic, she over-corrected and started fish-tailing narrowly missing the van in front of me, swerved towards me and then away just in time.  The scene in my rear view mirror seemed to happen in slow motion as one of the little red car’s wheel’s dug into the soft shoulder and the car slowly rolled over and came to rest on its roof.  By the time I got to the car, she was crawling out, mostly unharmed, but in a panic.  Her words, “Oh my God, what am I going to tell my boyfriend.”  I had to think, “why don’t you start with the truth?”

So often, nowadays, we fall back on the truth as a last resort.  We may even rationalize that we are protecting someone by lying.  More often, we think that we are protecting ourselves.  In reality, the opposite is true.  In today’s characteristic of love, love rejoices with the truth.  When we stray away from the truth, we betray love.

The first step in healing is getting honest with ourselves, with God, and with our loved ones.  When we hide our problems, we cannot work towards solving them.  When we bring the problems out into the open in appropriate ways, we start on a path where we can see them healed.

As you seek to bring out the truth in your life, I urge you to seek the Truth in Scripture.  Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” (John 14:6)  He is the ultimate Truth.  The Bible gives us a glimpse at this Truth.  It lets us know things like the fact that we were designed by God before the beginning of the world (Psalm 139).  We find out that God loved us so much that He sent His Son to die for us so we could be with Him (John 3:16) and that He did this even while we were sinners (Romans 5:8).  We also find out that we can be empowered, gifted, and made more than conquerors (1 Corinthians 12, Romans 8).

There is so much encouragement in the Bible to lead us on a path of wholeness.  Let’s seek this Truth and conquer the dishonesty in our lives!

Journey of Love – The Ultimate Love of St. Valentine

Journey of Love – The Ultimate Love of St. Valentine

I never really knew that much about Saint Valentine.  I knew that we celebrate love on his day but that was about it.  So, I did a little research.  Apparently, he was known for marrying Christian couples in the third century.  Perhaps that is why we celebrate love on his feast day.  I believe that his love went way beyond that.

Valentine was arrested and brought to Rome to face charges for subversion.  It seems that some were being married by him to avoid going into the military.  While he was jailed, some stories tell of him healing the jailer’s blind daughter in response to the jailer’s challenge.  This convinced the jailer so that he and his household converted to Christianity.

Valentine was then brought before the Emperor Claudius.  Claudius treated him with favor until Valentine tried to convert him.  He then threatened to kill Valentine unless he renounced Christ.  Valentine’s ultimate act of love was to refuse to renounce Christ.  He was badly beaten and still clung to the truth.  Finally, he gave his life out of love for Christ.

This Valentine’s Day, while we exchange gifts with our loved ones or even celebrate singleness, let’s ask ourselves if we have that kind of ultimate love.  Would we lay down our lives for those to whom we give those Valentine’s gifts?  Do we believe with such conviction that we would suffer beating and even death out of love for Christ?  In many parts of the world there are those who face the same threats that Valentine did.  Let’s remember and pray for them and pray that we would love with such complete abandon!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Journey of Love - Forget It!

Journey of Love – Forget It!

Nelson Mandela once said, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.”  We tend to think that holding on to past hurts empowers us when, in fact, it imprisons us.

It is possible to say we forgive while still holding on to the memory of how we have been wronged.  It is in our nature to use those wrongs as ammunition in arguments.  When we do that we are arguing for a personal victory rather than to better our relationships.  Our goal in disagreements should be to better our relationships by seeking to understand each other, not to win our own way.  When we seek only to win, what we win is loneliness, bitterness, and alienation.

I Corinthians 13 says that love keeps no record of wrongs.  If we really want to be free to express love, we will leave those wrongs in the past and go forth with a clean slate.  Let’s let the past stay in the past.  Deal with your issues from the past but don’t let them cripple your future.  (If you are struggling with letting go of your past, a good resource is the book “Life’s Healing Choices” by John Baker.)  I challenge you to let go of those hurts that keep coming up and move forward with the goal of living a life free from the hurts of the past!

Journey of Love – Not Easily Angered

Journey of Love – Not Easily Angered

As a teenager, I mastered the proverbial art of walking on eggshells.  If I did not do a chore just right, or I was a little late, or I complained about something, I had to endure the wrath of an angry step-father.  It is not surprising that I chose to go to college as far away as possible and left as early as possible.  It was a great relief when I got out of that situation.

Today’s quality of love, that which is not easily angered, was lacking in my step-father.  For whatever reason, he was unable to control his anger and it blocked any possibility of a loving parent/child relationship between us. 

The problem of anger is not limited to step-fathers.  I remember being shocked many years ago by a member of a church small group that I attended confessing his anger problem to the group.  It threatened to destroy his marriage.  I have since come to find out that it is much more common than I would have ever thought. 

Please realize that if you have an anger problem, it is very common, but it is also very important that you deal with it.  One fit of anger can undo a month’s worth of loving behavior.  Seek help from counselors and friends.  If you do not know if you have an anger problem, ask your spouse, your older child, or close friends.  Do not let your anger destroy your love!

Journey of Love - Not Self Seeking

Journey of Love – Not Self Seeking

I have a friend whose daughter was severely injured at birth.  She has to do everything for her daughter.  She has raised her from birth and stood by her through every trial.  Her daughter can do very little to express her love, but my friend continues to love her through her actions even as her daughter is now a young adult.  She could have institutionalized her, but she wants the best, most personalized care for her so she continues to take care of her.  That is amazing love that is far from self-seeking!  (and if you are reading this, know how much I admire you for that love).

Today’s characteristic is love that does not seek its own.  Probably the most common example of that is the love of a parent.  I know that when my daughter was born I realized that there was nothing that I would not do for her to protect her and try to raise her right.  This is the same kind of love that God showed to us when He sent His only Son to die on the cross for us. 

How can I live out this kind of unselfish love?  First of all, I can put the needs of my (soon to be) wife and children before my own.  Second, I can help my friends without regard to how they could return the favor.  Third, I can help those around me who cannot help themselves, providing food for the hungry, donating to shelters, etc.  Finally, I can share the amazing love of God with those around me, even when I feel I am too shy to share.

What would your list of unselfish love in action look like?  I challenge you to write one today and put it into action.

Journey of Love - Behave

Journey of Love – Behaves

For me, that word “behave” conjures up visions of my mom, when I was a kid, threatening me with punishment if I did not do as she told.  What would that have to do with love?  The very first part of 1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us in modern translations that love is not rude or does not behave rudely.  That could be taken a number of ways so I looked up the meaning of the original word there and it literally means that love behaves itself sexually.  That is to say, love waits for marriage to consummate. 

Years ago, I heard a wedding sermon speak of sex outside of marriage being like a screen door on a submarine.  When you don’t have that commitment and you dive into such intimacy, you threaten to sink the relationship.  Marriage provides a water tight seal.

That is not a very popular idea today.  The reasoning on the subject ranges from “if it feels good do it,” to “we need to find out if we are compatible.”  You should know that sex is the deepest form of intimacy and when it is taken outside of the commitment of marriage, that intimacy is weakened.  In other words, in order to have the strongest marriage, such intimacy needs to be reserved until after the wedding.

For those of you who say that is impossible, I can say that, while it is not easy, it is quite possible.  Janet and I have been committed to purity from the beginning.  Because of that, we have set ourselves up to succeed in this area.  I have also gone into every dating experience of my single life with that same dedication.  I look forward to a more intimate marriage because of it.

For those of you singles, I strongly recommend a dedication to purity.  Go into every dating experience sharing that dedication.  If your date does not have that same desire, move on to someone else.  In the meantime, take advantage of the time to get closer to the Lord.

For you married people, first I would say, keep that intimacy within the marriage.  That is to say, steer away from porn or anything else that would seek to satisfy that intimacy outside of each other.  If you need to, seek counseling.  I can tell you from personal experience, do not wait until it is too late.  Trust me; counseling is much cheaper than divorce!

Now, when I admonish you to “behave yourselves” you know what I mean.  ;-)